youtubin'

 </> currently filming a youtube video in my house .. this is quite fun .. im not sure what the rest of today looks like but i've calmed down a good amount from earlier. sometimes i don't know how to deal with my parents expectations for me and it drives me up the wall. i seek the internet as an objective form of therapy and review for my failures, inadequacies, and most importantly, successes .. 

my parents are fucking losers

 </> this one is to let off some steam but yes i said it. you know when you just get an epiphany one day that hits you right in the face. for me a lift has been lifted off my chest. coming to the realisation that yes, my parents are fucking losers in the most absolute sense of the phrase has brought me cathartic release. i am happy knowing the most consequential thing the two of them ever did was having sex to bring me into earth. apart from that their pretty inept, doubters, risk-averse, and barely living. im embarrassed by their existence. so i fight for my own. the apple does not fall far from the tree either; my entire family are losers. now that i mention it, most of the world is just a bunch of losers coming up with excuses for why they cant do shit, working as slaves because they dont have the audacity to put their life on the line for their ideals. losers, pro-slavery, flock-mongering monkeys. kiss my ass. 

where the fun begins

 </> as anakin skywalker says .. this is where the fun begins .. juggling a compendium of useless projects taht i think i can eventually turn into global services .. how amusing .. anyway, its fun to dream and execute on ideals. . they are always so tricky to implement, but so easy to conceive. 

the odds

 </> i read a reddit post about founders and the guy was saying its just as hard to become an actor as it is to become a tech founder. i think its interesting when people pursue this reasoning. it is more unlikely to be alive than all of these professions combined. so, if i was thinking about becoming an entrepreneur, and looking at the odds, i would say if you trace the odds back to your inception/birth, youve been beating them since. 

the american way

 </> im working on bringing my american counterpart's risk taking capabilities and putting them to good use here in ashford. it turns out that my american education of 10 years was useful for one thing: navigating challenges. even becoming eligible to study in the us as an international student is a challenge within itself, let alone navigating the actual us educational edifice, from private (millbrook school) to international (american school of bangkok) to military (hargrave) to public (virginia tech) to ivy (colombia) to legal (tulane) to legal ivy (chicago) and finally to criminal and fraud (harvard, yale, MIT)

wikiword

 </> i bought the domain not knowing that it was a planned project from years ago for wikimedia to create wikiword as a portal for words and their etymologies if you will .. that's a huge use case and function that wikipedia has quite literally dropped the ball on .. i will take on this challenge head on and see if i can fool the world into thinking that wikiword is taking over the wikiverse .. i just need to find out how first !

https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/WikiWord

movement

 </> listening to what got me through my time at yale, i have posted my first youtube video in the new life ive made. i am also currently looking at spreading sokaizen on reddit. additionally, i am creating the wordixon site but it is rife with competition. not sure of where to go because theres a lot of paths ..

momentum

 </> years of having no job or source of income that i can fully depend on have me contemplating the option now. But that's precisely the issue. Whenever I think about it i reach the same outcome. That is, not to do the things required for ascertaining a job or source of income. I am on the tightrope, dancing between jumping into society and remaining in place. but in place seems pretty good. and it only seems to be improving. so i don't know. but i do . .  . . .  keep going .. banzai tenno hekai ..

meta ai

 </> i was just talking to meta ai and it replied saying 'we need to respond to user' and then it had a bunch of weights like how to respond with 'fair' .. and others .. this was very strange because within seconds meta went 'sorry something went wrong' i believe this is the first time i was able to look into the backend of an ai system at it was terrifyingly simple. we cant be talking about agi as a possibility if it really is just like 1 of 5 options for responses thats being computed about here. now that i mention it i always did think it was weird how strange and out of place people like alexandr wang (meta ai ceo) and ilya sustkivich or whatever its spelled .. (safesuperintelligence) .. they are frauds most likely .. i think this ai thing is way blown over proportion in terms of questions of 'is it thinking' and 'turing tests' .. it is not thinking .. it is numbers .. numbers cant think .. but i suppose thats all humans are when we get down to it .. a bunch of possibilities, probabilities, ratios, rationalities, equations, computes for simple mundane decisions on the day to day and more so we often make no decisions at all .. no need to compute .. living the same day on repeat for, say 50 years, or so .. ummm I also think that it is strange that every thing can be reduced to intergers .. 1s and 0s ..

rhythm

 </> good morning. today will be adding some functions to the site. at the moment, ive integrated a log in via google, discord, github, and gitlab, was working on the phone number but its too cumbersome so will finish setting up an email sign in by end of today. my neck and spine have been cooked because of my posture in working for the last few days. but, when isnt it cooked? in addition, ive also created a reflect page for new entries or posts. i have created a history page that displays all previous posts. i have created a dashboard that gives the user a respective kaizen score based on their grading of aformentioned days. i have created the initial page showing a cool animation and bar graph. the only thing is that the actual connective sinew of the platform is rather dead. a black box of sorts if you will .. i need to fix this asap. the social integrations of usernames, adding friends, and social exploration in general feels soulless. but, today, ive got something up my sleeve . . .. 

sokaizen

 </> sokaizen is going really well. but I need $124 to implement some features I would like to add. one is bringing in apple and having a developer account. the second is upgrading my vercel account so i can change the unprofessional domain callback. either way, these are both excuses to not face the current real threat - getting users .. to reddit!

my depression has become an aesthetic

 </> i see the value in this blog as the only thing keeping my sanity. with isolation you can lose track of people, things, relationships, time. .. i must say that i would chose no other path to walk on but in doing so it is smart to have an anchor tailored to linear reality. this blog serves as so. i believe that sokaizen will serve a different purpose entirely. im just not sure what it is yet. yet ..

i went with google

 </> this is the first sokaizen post .. pretty mad .. ngl .. 

I've had a revealing day. I had a good phone call with my mother which was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster but I'm proud of myself for handling it well as I did. Keeping emotions in-tact, breathing, and embracing mindfulness are some of the fantastic things I have and continue to improve on throughout the years. 

I also was lucky enough to make some progress with the development on the site. Apart from that, I ran out of butter today so I need to be better about getting 2x the amount of butter in my weekly grocery list from now on. Overall I give myself a B+ on today, it's been a pretty productive day. I have to make sure that I can keep up the momentum because it's Friday. Lots of opportunities to be distracted, but also opportunities to progress in certain respects as well. 

There's someone I'm rather interested in connecting with but I was unsuccessful in reaching out to them and I only found this out today. I suppose I should work on not forcing outcomes and embracing the 'wu-wei' of it all .. to a certain degree .. but to a lesser degree than what I believe that my wille zum leben can see .. 

As far as I can see. I'm on the right path. Full sail ahead, capt'n.

apple google

</> ive run into a bit of an issue. .. apple v google or rather apple + google. it is very important the i navigate this with due diligence. the stake of my future is on the line. i am putting my foot down and making it clear that i am anti google and anti - apple so i will need to develop this platform from the ground up all on my own. that means that sokaizen will have to become its own datapoint. replacing the need for an email or a phone number. we have to tie something else to sokaizen. it could be a physical address but that seems too formal. i suppose a phone number text option would be the safest route, for now..

smear campaigned backfired

</> If i could go back in time and talk to my child self. I would tell him that he would sacrifice more than anyone in any room he goes. I would then tell him that he would have the least security in any room he enters.

 

So many dreams i had and only a few came true. Little did i know the biggest were not the dreams but the day to day reality itself 

signal frequencies

 </> occupying this frequency is weird. its very difficult to be so disconnected from society while connecting them via an online tool youre trying to make. there were many turns that i could have taken that would have gotten me, ruined me. i know why i am here. i know why i am here alone. its impossible for me to connect to people anymore. its impossible to maintain conversations. i am so within myself that i see others in a wholly different light. i am so intrigued by my inadequacies, what's wrong with me, im a failure. these types of feelings have been examined at such a degree that i now understand what lays underneath the surface. the point, the thing that money cant buy. the thing that relationships do not see. the way in which our body and minds are linked. the things we feel, the doubts, the questions, the self belief or lack there of . for me, there's no choice. fate/reality did not give me the ability to work a regular 9-5, nor does my moral constitution for that matter. but i am feeling like it is getting easier, i am gaining clarity. i am realizing that i will have to take the lead here and get to the summit alone. when its dark, cold, alone. i think that it is interesting because it feels like the last few months were a few days. there has been no progress from the outside, but the most consequential in my entire life from the inside. my life trajectory, my skills, the gifts i have, the calling for my place in society, have all been manufactured. developed and rooted out in real time. in the middle of nowhere. i have become something out of necessity. it is bizarre but it makes too much sense. i dont even care about succeeding anymore. i am more intrigued about this meditative state i have transitioned to. and i know what it is. by shutting every one out i have started to grow at an exponential rate. like, all those people in my life were such heavy anchors that it made this type of movement impossible. like rock lee when he drops the weights. at the age of twenty six, i am starting to see myself so clearly that it is becoming a little disconcerting,.

isolation

 </> sitting here, high on spice, i am aware that i am blessed. very truly blessed. this lone wolf path that im walking on my ass in my broken down house, with walls i have broken down personally feels oddly scripted. my position in society is not in it. it is above awatching things unfold. i feel like a watchkeeper. i understand that the only way to do this was gonna have to be through this way. alone, scared, poor, cold. it is not able to be written and yet it feels written. im heating up milk, for hot chocolate, eating cold milk coco puffs. it sounds mundane and boring, ive been doing this for months and yet it feels like its the first day on the job every time i get to it. i had asked a special someone to marry me around eight months ago. and i can say. interestingly, that being single was the only way. thats how its always been. all my creations, including my first, their writings and apps/websites were created in the process of extreme solitude, isolation, and heart frostbite. everything is starting to align. this superpower of self-reflection will bring me wealth. its a meditative trance that im in. and im sure, it must be rather alluring how someone can be so self-sustainable. so comfortable with spending all that time in the middle of nowhere just with himself and an imac, keyboard, and mouse. left to my own devices, i see unlimited potential. it is only when other people get into the fray that i see limitations .. problems .. error 404s. ..

the reason dtre

 </> my time being homeless, destitute, loveless, unloved, unfelt, quiet, timid, alone, in this house, have seen me transition from a poet, to an actor, to a criminal, to a monk, to a critic. none of them stuck. and the fact of the matter is that the key to building anything .. successfully .. is in kaizen itself .. and that means the single act of repeatedly doing something, irrespective of the quality outcome, is the process of success itself. it is in the rhythm of progress as i often say. . the property of progress is the rhythm or state of flow you feel in doing it. right now, i derive that from writing my thoughts and then categorizing and analysing that. so the dual sense is insteresting. this blog is the raw skeleton .. what im working on is the connective tissue and corresponding sinew . nerve damage all over, still typing, still coding, still dreaming, fuck the day job.

moving to dynamic

 </> moving from static to dynamic in my site disposition is making me realize this thing and its corresponding architecture are being built from the ground up quite efficiently. about as efficient as how i just wrote that last sentence with my eyes closed typing on the keyboard. proficviency in technology, writing, thinking, and fundamentally learning is very important for scuccess in muy life. the only contradiction for me is the fact that my journey for continuous improvement is quintessentially interlinked with my desire to create a social media platform created for the business of self improvement. that folks, is called a conflict of interest . or more so . a quid pro quo

life

 </> life is a tightrope, one lapse of focus, and you're off. 

wealth

 </> it is an illusion; this game.  we are not the operators, only our wills. studying law is different to practicing it. the homeless and the one percent are more alike than the remaining 96.5%. wealth is dichomtomized into relationships, culture, nations, reach. yes, even beyond this planet, now .. it is literacy, consciousness, our thoughts about ourselves. it is how we walk. you can always tell a fraud from how bad their posture is. the carrying is the key. you cant let life break you. it will try.

the point

</> the impetus for sokaizen is to provide a space for solutions. we are a solutions first, problems second driven platform./ that is all .. we are the ladder .. irrespective of destination ?

insights on insights

</> going to create a post-it note esq / like page inspired from my inception and the impetus if thats the correct word for its success. the method behind the madness if you will. this will be a greater activity log that encompasses core insights, key mistakes, problems and solutions in one confronting significant dilemmas in ones' life. perhaps community groups and organizations will also be able to use this to better their workflow and improve productivity in pagramaticism, no dogmaticsm . boo

logic and truth

 </> need to keep in mind the importance of logical propositions, reality, truth and remaining objective. .... 

island school

 </> thinking about when my secondary school in hong kong class group voted me as most likely to go to jail i realized that even the purest of them were trouble ridden with the fact that they did not possess the wherewithal or drive perhaps to truly stick up for themselves and fight for what they believe in. i suppose it was impossible given the fact that they were soon to be under chinese marshall law and on top of that the privilige to go to such a school did not possess a battle for civil rights but more so natural law. and i dont think anyone was on that level. good thinkers are obedient. great minds tailor obedience, and measure it to their ends. 

mistakes.app

</> mistakes.app fails because of its plurality. it is far too linear ironically. but it shows that one person was willing to try and develop in a market purely predicated upon mistakes, then there must be a rather large market for the holistic encompassment of the human experience .. from mistakes to achivements .. from lovers to enemies .. eh im not a poet ok .. 

insights

 </> ive just created an insights tab or focus area in sokaizen. now acting as the main form in default instead of mistake .. btw that was a mistake to reveal the name 

adding to the log

 </> just got off the call with my mother. made me realize that this isnt really about mistakes but noticing things. pointing things out. revelations, or realizations made that seem small but are large. my mother is very in her own world, can not confront reality, borderline schizophrenic or full on solipsism like ontological descartism to the max. i.e, cogito ergo sum but i cant think for you so how do i know that you exist.  

mistaake log

 </> i emailed my crust but i fucked up by not using times new roman font but ariel i think but more importantly i used the name kyotokashingshwartz . my alter ego , without knowing that my name was in the email ,,,,,,, 

asians

 </> im convinced asians have the best genes .. aesthetically .. dont cancel me ..  why am i logging this on the internet? i couldnt tell you. just know that i am in the midst of creating something and my perennial love for the japanese has got me following the kaizen trajectory .. 

and it goes on

 </> the time is 1:57pm so im saying that i made the principal mistake of going to bed far too early in the morning - 4am i think. i can improve on this by staying up all night or not i guess.. but its good because i feel clear and well rested. another mistake ive seem to have made is looking up american school in japan girls varsity hockey 2024. there are a lot of cute women on that team, one of them now at Barnard college at my alma mater. the dilemma is that i don't know whether to pursue or not which usually means i need to pursue. the problem presented is that it is completely infeasible. im not sure what to make of it. the woman is beautiful. but so was hina, so were my exs .. jp morgan grandaughter .. i don't know. i guess it is in my nature at this point but the smartest thing to do is turn it in to an opportunity to make my product better and hopefully one day it spreads to her and she uses it in her days at barnard and potentially until her death .. very morbid indeed. enough, it's time to take over. a new day has come. a day full of mistakes .. AND, solutions.

mistake.app

 </> i am developing a mistake app and as of right now i am not able to log and save my mistakes in a fashion that is cohesive and sustainable. i am going to state my two entries out of right now.

i. i messed up by reaching out to my father and trusting him to help fund my aspirations. it was good because i learnt the lesson that every problem has a solution, or more so, an opportunity, and i began developing the app.

ii. this is not necessarily a mistake. this is a dilemma. or more so, an action taken. i reached out to my father asking for 100 pounds to purchase the domain mistake.app .. lets see how this goes .. i think that adding this section would be a feature called choices. choices will allow the user and other corresponding users to make remarks on the problem and give advice on a course of action through commenting and upvotes. or, perhaps, it will be through a vote on a course of action made by the mistake documenter to her social community for their judgment. 

lots to ponder about right now. - a problem and solution in itself. 

10 june 2:26

</> today is a day in which i logged a mistake in going back to a pattern of dependency with my father. but it has turned into a rather interesting opportunity for something of real value for, fundamentally, myself, and consequentially, others. there is a global depression coming and there is also the greatest wealth onset in history impending. pick a side. 

with the advancements i have made in my use of prompt engineering, and getting ai to do all the work of mechanically configuring my ideas in code, i am able to lead the creative direction at very low cost and no human judgment. this is desirable. but. and its a big but. when i was told to 2A (TWO FACTOR) authenticate my login to my github, i noticed that i was not being given the code to do so. it was, in my terminal .. 

im telling you what that means is artificial intelligence in the process of coding my idea opened github and then told me the two factor authentication code to put in for authorization ..

think about that .. the only issue of course is that the use case / value proposition in ai at the moment greatly surpasses the detriment of procedural safeguards, privacy violations, and a fundamental lack of (human) control in the process. the product is simply too good for now.

and what is the product? im calling it a mistake tracker for now. the only available domains are mistakeapp so i .. liking the ring of that. .. will use it moving forward. 

the plan is to document mistakes, and categorize them daily so they can be made into solutions. 

there are no problems , without solutions - me. 

quaantum ai

 </> ai in its current state and disposition is utterly hopeless. but the thing is that the advancements in technology 15 - 20 years from now will manifest a literal quantum leap that will likely benefit from the use of ai as a median for understanding between humans and the quantum realm. the point is that ai is simply a fictional/placeholder element in the grand scheme. compute will rule in the end but not through ai. ai will be the slaves in the new age. the fiefs will be the electrons themselves configuring quantum computing. this is a war of attrition in understanding, not resources, ironically.

exposure

 </> there is an oversaturation of celebrities and 'successful people' on the internet giving us their time. these are admissions, not rebukes, that these people are playing for an audience. like a clown. the veil has been pierced. we see that. 

adbloc

 </> im convinced that adblock remains the most consequential, utilizable, and for-value, piece of software made in humankind.

op

</> My credit was never discoverable. My tax was never negotiable. My loans were never approved, My debt accrued. My inventions dismissed. Intelligence unlit. Institutions as predators. Knowledge as currency. Attention as collateral. Time and opportunity as nil. Nihilism as the solution, positivism as hallucination.

 

We live in a generation where the kids of their fathers generations sit on the opposite sides of procreation. One wanting to create the world and its inhabitants. The other wanting to cease it and put a stop to all manners of creation at all.

 

One where the baby boomers are taxing us, mentally and financially. Giving job insecurity and blaming you for taking their advice to try and get the job in the first place through the means of traditional education. All while telling you to hop off the xbox and youtube when nothing mattered in your youth to read bond books and hamlet not knowing that the answer was in the things that were the most captivating and inducing all along.

Gaming pcs, the internet, culture, international globalism, etc.

~ these are the things that move us forward.

adobe

 </> when i attempted to disbandon my adobe membership in 2023, they charged me the full years worth of subscription. a classic contract of adhesion that they enforced to the fullest degree. this is the enemy. these cloud-based service subscriptions where software can be easily ascertained through fighting back via linux questionable software use and development. google, amazon, meta, apple, theyre all doing it now. nvidia, ... unfortunately. they want to own all your data, and store it to you for a fee. unless, that is, if you dont pay that fee, then there will be another fee and a perennial blockage of accessing your own proprietary information and data. so, the only way to circumvent this is through becoming proficient in software usage predicated on one's own systems or free software. these big conglomerates are far too powerful. the subscription is the red flag. the cloud is the red boat.  

elon and fast food

</> why is elon musk doing fast food now? that's weird for someone trying to take humanity to mars. anyway, he's effectively won the game of capitalism and displayed his profiteering is predicated on sustainability in any venture that does not involve gastronomy. which is weird for someone so focused on astro-physics. but, i think that he has displayed, single handedly that the economy is built on the backs of those, just like who fell building the great wall, run into the fold to create the ideals of others for moments of fragmentary captured happiness that no one will remember, not even them. to get away from the morbidity, i have made breakthroughs with wordixon but the issue is that i have lost the distinctive text font i used for the wording. unfortunately it is so distinctive that it cant be replicated. and ai seems to have grave problems with regenerating it in pdf form. it can't read the text. which i know is a testament to the peculiar distinctive flair it has more than the ai capabilities because i was able to successfully regenerate a logo when making my mother's english website. 

not very far

 </> turns out i didnt get very far. but the preview as to the capabilities is staggeringly high. perhaps more refined than claude, even. it feels very commercialized and professional. a good way to keep the hoax up. the value of ai will reside in how deep its capacities are to truncate and placate more connectivity and money into the economy. looked at from an aesthetic and economic model. aesthetic in the aspect of progressing humanity. economic in the aspect of generating third party revenue. which it seems to have proven so far on the person to person hiring aspect with ai greatly overtaking human proficiency or adding to it in a weird quasi/dual function. i think perhaps the integration of ai into the site will be beneficial but once again must fight the total ai-ification of everything b/c it will end in us becoming the product. proportionality in dimension must be the focal key here. 

progress

 </> ive successfully retrieved my banking details and have ascertained one month for free of codex by open ai. interesting to see how far i can go until i need to dig into my pockets. great progress, time to unwind with some salmon and wine i think.

beneath me

 </> im in my house in england, walls broken down, writing this on my imac, and i feel like god. i think that napoleon also felt something near to how i feel right now. it. feels like other people dont exist, that im the only person actually here. some type of ontological solopsism that is going to be taken out of context for the rest of my days. i implore all who read this too. life is so boring without others thinking your mad. ;/

fuck it

 </> In order to get ahead. By choice and not design. First, hone your intuition. Second, use the side alley. Third, make the damn door.

the bottom line

 </> the way to profit in the immediate sense is to yield and extract more value from the ai datasystem than the monetary fee and time given to it by the proprietor. usage must be essentially unlimited and not safeguarded. the max claude code plan allows this benchmark for a fee of ninety pound per month. my domain is around ten pounds. furthermore, using tools like vertex and substack may increase their fee requirement for building on their data platforms on a month to month basis. a conservative estimate would be around 120 pounds per month for the internal infrastructure and around 150 for a more progressive guess. the tricky work is not in building, but scaling. the question then becomes what it takes financially, and more importantly, not financially, to grow this thing pass the tipping point into social and digital ubiquity. given the fact that i know longer possess an institutional community to leverage off of this might become a grave problem for me, as it has in the past. i have no interest in the use of adsense and artifical pay for as you go growth. more so, necessity demands that i dont have that option available to me right now. people are going to be invaluable here, the only issue of course is that i know none.

looking at the social stratification of datasets and websites to help propoagate the nonprofit seems to run into the same issue. in a society where everything is monetized we run into a preemininent and conssistently arising issue. look at the influence of wikipedia and wikileaks on the other hand. they are funded in the form of interaction and use by the public but only request donations. donations can not be the means of appreciating revenue. if the nonprofit becomes a vehicle for use, ancillary sites may work to promote the corporation but unlikely. it truly seems that the bet here is going to have to be on artificial intelligence. the interesting quirk about ai is that it can be used to cross multiple dimensions and modalities. if ai can do the work of a reddit, x, facebook, instagram, myspace ... all in one then it attains extravagant value. 

the morality built into claude preempts this however. in conversing with the system it offers pr and safe ideas to grow but that's just not good enough for me right now. i need to focus on these ai systems and harnassing them for maximum yield. elimination of the need to use youtube becomes a theme because the same problem is there but it is on a platform in which i do not own and have to compete with other creators. as we all know ... competition is for losers. that is to say, competition is for losers when using people's platforms that you don't own. but perfectly apt in the case of your own personal ownership. if i can harness the ai to make the nonprofit supererogatory than i will be on my way. well on my way. as you can see this will likely involve the use of the very best ai models to deliver on what i need to accomplish. but that much compute power with no one to use is nonsensical. 

this blog in itself has become a good displayal of the utilizability of something which no one else sees. which is to say immense value. deciding when and how to go public with all this is exhausting but only because it remains the most important factor. 

i dont wish to promote through reddit, x, or google. i think that the most important direction is going into the fold with uncertainty and letting it riddle itself out. 

the platforms are inherent limitations when you have to use them to promote an ancillary and proprietary platform. at the end of the day the dot com space is all just competing with one another. selling shovels in a gold rush is the real goal. but im not sure how to do that just yet. 

harnassing the utility

</> the proclaimed godfather of ai.. geoffrey hinton and his compatriat ilya are responsible for the image recognition capacities that ai has today. what better use of the advent of artificial intelligence than helping to train its modelling through the association of imagery, culture, memes, data, video, with ai? i can think of no more intelligent alternative. the ability to possess databases that can recursively train an open or closed model will be valuable to both me and society at large. there is a theme here, it is that there is no monetaizatble modality, and that is exactly the way this needs to go for it to work. the corporate edifice, right now, will only get in the way. the real way to the impartment of meaning is through interaction, training, and connectivity. connectivity from both a human and aritifical dispensationalism. 

what it takes

 </> i know fully understand what it takes to create a company of substantial value. it takes everything. 

it lives

 </> im back to where it began .. wordixon, however this time i am going nonprofit, by necessity.. currently looking for people to fund this endeavour .. peter thiel, my father ... i assume these efforts are hopeless but not fruitless. for, they will unveil hidden sentiments and gems that are necessary for pulling off this resurrection. in resurrecting wordixon i am aiming to foster a community on youtube that can visually follow. a word per day? that seems like a folly endeavor. perhaps a smarter way to go about this is not necessarily by making posts on youtube about words but more so documenting the experience? but that feels tacky. i think building in silence is great but there does need to be some kind of exposure. i am a big fan of the visual phenomenon but i dont wish to incur cost in the form of time and money for something non-viable. cutting all costs and directing it towards ai and the creation of the build might actually be the smartest thing to do in this instance. it seems that i already possess the requisite technology but of course there needs to be a way to access finances to pay for all this. the main prerogative at the moment is getting a means to finance all this while retaining proprietary ownership. i don't know, time for a cig ..

sick of it

 </> my mind keeps telling me people in my past life are better than me because they have a stable job, friends, a social life, balance, tranquility, blah blah bullshit here bullshit there. i dont give a fuck and im getting sick of this lay conventionalism. inside me bears the brain of a revolutionary, my body and heart are designed to change the course of events, so why is it that i feel as if i frail in comparison to ordinary folk?

must be social engineering ... if people keep telling someone that theres nothing special about them, no one ever takes a chance on them, and his own family keeps reinforcing this message than it becomes near impossible to not fall. near but not impossible. for those who possess the fire within side like i do!

this is pretty cringe reading out loud but its important because it displays the importance of fundamental belief in ones' self to the detriment of others and .. benefit .. 

hello world!

</> good day good sir, i am hving the best of revelations on this day. the ease of using software that is easily ascertainable and hardy accessible are to be of great interest to us. 

put me in coach

</>  the first book i used my actual discretion to buy was zero to one by ppeter thiel; i never read it but it seemed serious for the first few pages i skimmed. i was very young at the time, teens or preteens. my life has been shaped, growing up in 2000era hong kong by the american technological revolutionaries. gates, zuck, jobs. that mount rushmore established the fire within today. now, its the elons, altmans, karpathy, sutskevers, ... that are starting to get that itch going again. i wonder, will i ever compete with them ?

YOU are the product

 </> ALL of the big tech companies .. open ai, claude, gemini? have usage rate limits for integrations of their ai into terminal. so, what i need to do is find an exploitative way of using big tech ai companies that extracts most value for free. this can unlock a potential universal free ai if done correctly. there must be an analysis into the rate limits, token usage, and the ease of use with accounts. this is not going to be exhaustative but i am starting to realise that the product ai sells is the creation or accessibility. but this is a trap. it is a classic merchant of venice. these companies gain accesas to all data on your computer and in addition they gain complete dependance. in becoming fully seen you actually just become the ai. the question is can you get the ai to replicate itself and bypass the protective safeguards put in place by the proprietary corporation(S)

gpt4all

</> i am coming to the realization that elon might be correct that were all in a simulation. i think that it would be important to align my life trajectory with producing something more consequential and long lasting for humanity. i am using gpt4all to bypass the terminal issue with my old imac but it is a bit slow however it seems as if this may be a loophole for the use of credits and monitoring by large or big tdech due to the fact that it is local to my device. i suppose the first step of planning a coup is to do so in private. 

the divine madman

</> yes, watching anthony bourdain parts unknown where he is in bhutan talking about some divine menace or something. anyway i think that the use case for creating a digital community or environment has to be through the free leveraging of alternative sites in the social media space. should not embark on reinventing the wheel here or door for that matter. what can happen is the use of or implementation of my digital voice and perhaps a few pseudonyms to spread a greater message. it doesnt seem logical to build a website and code it using ancillary corporations and their proprietary software. i suppose the days of creating and building one's own digital edifice are over. nothing is possible of being possessed entirely today. full equity and complete control is a bit of a sham when everything is concatinating and connected via the age of the web. the issue is finding a common thread between everything for purposes of establishing a community and potential client base. but i suppose that even that verbiage is no good, it cant be a client base and it cant be a cult. this thing has to be formless and untargatable. i am not sure about what is is but i think that the place to be is in some form of forum. reddit seems like a decent kickstarter but im thinking about the sites that people can't really leave, can't really turn off. for me that was always youtube due to its replayability and discoverability but in today's age the question is what transcends this. it seems to be the case that social media is dying. youtube and video is still thriving as the moral arbiter of democratic truth but i think that it is very important to note that ai is the countervailling force here that is infecting and eating away at everything. what humanity needs is its own representation. there needs to be some form of human element here. as ai becomes more and more integrated into traditionaly human forms like youtube, now more than ever it is important to establish safeguards and more so communities predicated on "the human experience"

melania trump

</> listening to the melania trump biopic has brought to me clarity and discernment in the appraisal of this vegetative state of the world right now. i think that it makes sense to continue acting competently irrational through an inconspicuous rouse in conspicuous environs.